Thursday, August 31, 2006
i am here blogging again..
today is teachers' day celebration..with contrast of a meeting with my std mates n leslie..but i didnt attend school..somehow, it seems like i am avoiding the matter of solving the dispute with my std mates..
my feelings:
TO MY STD MATES:
in the year of sec one, i have been thinking what life will be like when we guys get into sec3s - the yr which all of us get up to be a more mature and good leaders.? wondering to myself, we are nt that close then, when can we like foong ming batch?close like silblings, a happy family. As nearing to yr end, the first aid competition bring some of us nearer, the ambulance team and me. we got to know each other better, knowing what team work is like and get to feel my belonging in our batch. Through the trainings we had in first aid competition, we laugh, share our thoughts and feelings of our seniors, scolding them at the back, bear grudge of them, but at the end of the day, i still enjoy it - the real fun with you guys.
In sec 2, where our little invovlement in sjab starts off..when i got to know that i will be the only girl left in our standard. I starts to get worried. Is it a good thing or bad one? But, with the support and help when i approach our instructors and tell them how i feel - my fear, i got myself out of that freaking thinking. and indeed, things didnt change much after being me the only girl =) then, after being with junan, together, i got to know bing cheng, zheng yee, sing yuen more and better. sec2, it seems like 5 of us gets along well, although there were times we guys have internal fighting. then, when time pass, get to go for public duties, its like 'offer sale' le. if gt bing cheng, wil get zhengyee, singyuen. gt junan, wil get shimin. sometimes, it will be all..'special offer' bahs! ... seems to be a stupid and lame thing, but i really enjoy the times. before or after duties, having meals at long john, playin with e chilli sauce and sharing the food, making a mess..after instuructional meetings, under void deck having cup noodles and gossiping about things, haha! saturday n sunday wil be mostly at the street soccer court bah!, with the dangerous things you guys did. somehow, in some ways, i feel closer to sjab frens then to my friends around me who i know them much earlier then these guys. yea, thinking most probably is due to me and junan being boy gal fren bah. but of cos, i do know that i do wrong things at time. throwing tempers whenever i quarrel with others or family. being sturborn for nt consuming my medicines,trying to be tougher then before. whenever i am being knock out, u guys will be the one that wil b worried for me and of cos my parents n friends n those who cares for me.
sec3 : the worst part, everyone holdin on to much things and stress, its where i broke off n leave u guys. disputes n more conflicts starts to arouse when we guys work together. mayb bahs..as like wat junan had said..im nt e one that im was like before..to wat sense?? till now i still dunno..bcos being needed to absorb to so much changes, im reali stress up wif the thins ..studies n simply e thins tat r goin around bahs..hard to xplain or say it out.,to me, i feel that its e break up of me n junan tat started all tis de.. real fact?? i dunno..it might b due to our own actions n words. e way we handle thins differently. this short 7 mths, we guys had lots of unhappiness of one another..but we didnt say it out, keepin it to ourselves, or jus discussin around one or two of the std mates..but wat abt e others??
[+ are we really still consider a STANDARD?? +]
*******My dear Sec 3s, if there's reali things that u have done to make you guys so angry, please tell me wat are it..BUT. dont you people think theres oso a need for an explaination for wat you guys had done and said?? i am not implying to all..but you guys suppose to know who u r..guys, if i really done somethin wrong..i wil sincerly say sorry to you guys..alrites?? [ to reali learn how to forgive is consider a great deal to you guys bahs!!] .. okiies..im not sayin who's rite or wrong..the matter which hasd been drag till now.. all of us plays a part..bcos we r a standard, as time could reali pass..we should have already notice each others difference n identify our mistakes..each and everyone of us has our own working method and style..and im sorry to say that..yea.indeed, im using a differ one den u guys..i look 4ward everything..the start, process n oso the feedback. Being more to the tough side bahs!!
that should be all bahs.. e memories with u guys are hard to forget..for what i can say is jus simply that : I will have to learn to be stronger then ever b4..giving n lettin ways to others mayb a more hurting n unforgiving way of result i will ever get bahs..
i dunno wat sjab ppl c tis wil say, but if ani of u saw this, pls tel mii hw u get into here n tag mii along..i wil b veri glad to say..thks n sorrie for bloggin so much todae!!
` [[ BABYvan ]] ♥
8:38 PM
BabyFriendster 